|
Truth!!
Only a woman knows the answer!!!
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the
monarch of a
neighboring
kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but
was moved by Arthur's
youth and
ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as
long as he could answer a
very
difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the
answer and if, after a
year,
he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the
most knowledgeable man,
and to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But,
since it was better
than
death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to
have an answer by year's
end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll
everybody: the
princess, the
prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the
court jester. He spoke
with
everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer. Many people
advised
him to consult the old witch -- only she would
know the answer.
The price would be high; the witch was famous
throughout the kingdom
for
the exorbitant prices she charged.
Finally, the last day of the year arrived and
Arthur had no
alternative
but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the
question, but he had
to
accept her price first. The old witch wanted to
marry Gawain, the most
notable of
the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's
closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified: she was
hunchbacked and hideous, had
only one
tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises
... etc. He had never
encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused
to force his friend to
marry her
and have to endure such a burden.
Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke
with Arthur. He told
him
that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the
witch answered Arthur
thus:
What a woman really wants is to be in charge of
her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had
uttered a great truth and
that
Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The
neighboring monarch
granted
Arthur total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had!
Arthur was torn between
relief
and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle
and courteous. The old
witch
put her worst manners on display, and generally
made everyone very
uncomfortable.
The hour approached, Gawain, steeling himself
for a horrific
experience,
entered the bedroom. But what a sight waited him!
The most beautiful
woman he
had ever seen lay before him!
The astounded Gawain asked what had happened.
The beauty replied
that
since he had been so kind to her when she'd
appeared as a witch, she
would
henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the
time, and the other
half, she
would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he
want her to be during
the day,
and during the night?
What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his
predicament. During the
day, a
beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at
night, in the privacy
of
his home, an old witch?
Or would he prefer having by day a hideous
witch, but by night a
beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate
moments?
What would you do?
(Please pause a while and do not read on until you
have made up your own
mind)
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her
choose for herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she
would be beautiful all the
time, because he had respected her enough to let
her be in charge of her
own life.
What is the moral of this story?
THE MORAL IS:
IF you don't respect a woman,
THINGS GET UGLY.
|
Women Cry... A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" God said:
"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed." "You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
Remember: God Is Love
This is written in the Hebrew Talmud It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, But from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.
God hears the words of the woman who complains to Muhammad about the cruelty of her husband; God hears her words when she complains directly to him. God listens to everything that is said; he hears all and observes all.
-Qur'an, Al-Mujadilah, Surah 58:1
Subject: WORTH OF WOMAN
By the time the Lord made woman, He was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are You spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen My spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands." The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to My own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But You have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."Will she be able to think?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like You have a leak in this model. I told You that You were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said,The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing." And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.They'll drive, fly, walk, run or email you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love.They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEFO
This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.
Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most
of all. Here are
just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of
the night to ask,
"What are you
thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she
doesn't sit
around whining about it. She does something she wants
to do. And, it's
usually
something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be
assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women
past the age of 30
give a damn what you might think about her or what
she's doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a
screaming match with you at
the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you
deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they
think they can get
away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often
undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce
you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore
even her best friend
because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.
Women over 30 couldn't
care less if you're attracted to her friends because
she knows her
friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to
confess your sins to a
woman over 30. They always know.
A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red
lipstick. This is not true
of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is
far sexier than her
younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell
you right off if you
are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever
have to wonder where
you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of
reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every
stunning, smart, well-coiffed
hot woman
of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants
making a fool of
himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why
buy the cow when you
can get the milk for free".
Here's an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?
Because women realize it's
not worth
buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage....
 |
How to Handle a Woman
~ Richard Harris (Camelot)
How to handle a woman,
There's a way said a wise old man,
A way known by every woman,
Since the whole rigmarole began!
Do I flatter her, I begged him answer,
Do I threaten or cajole or plea,
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?
Said he, smiling, "No, indeed!"
"How to handle a woman,
Mark me well, I will tell you sir!
The way to handle a woman,
Is to love her, simply love her,
Merely love her, love her,
Love her!"
|
|